Setbacks are generally known as a negative experience. You’re moving further away from something you want, and understandably at the time, all that goes through your head is negativity. Why couldn’t this have gone a different way? Why is this happening to me? Why can’t I get out of this and just get to where I want to be?
What’s so powerful about all of these questions is that they all revert back to one person…you.
You’re the only one who can change those questions into a positive. Rather than why is this happening to me? Switch it to what can I do to make this better for myself? What can you shift to make it into a positive and the answer is everything.
There’s no point in sitting and feeling sorry for yourself over something because guess what you’re extending your own setbacks. You’re pushing yourself into a deeper, darker space. When you should be pulling yourself out of it.
You always hear it’s easier said than done, but I think that’s bullshit. It’s easier to get it done, than to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. I’ve said before you need to learn to be accountable for yourself, otherwise you’ll always depend on others to pull you out of your own rut. When 99% of the time you are your own solution.
What I’ve learnt from my setbacks is that they’ve made me into a stronger person. Not realising until later that it was good for me to go through that pain, that struggle, because it’s made me so much more powerful now. Probably more than I will ever realise. But learning to be grateful for that moment of weakness or even just taking a step back to think was that really a setback for me? Or was it a chance to show that even though I’ve been pushed back, I’m going to come back even stronger and prove myself wrong.
I think when you come to that realisation yourself its a beautiful moment. When you can take your failures and realise that they were just as important as all of your successes, you really gain a deeper level of appreciation for yourself.
I wanted to speak a bit more about this today as it was the topic on a weekly zoom call my coach hosts with a group of his clients, and when I was listening to everyone’s stories on their own setbacks, it was just really nice to hear the strength in everyone’s voices after they got past their setbacks and know it made them so much mentally stronger in the long run. It was really nice to sit there and remember that everyone goes through these challenging moments, these points where they think the worst possible thing is happening to them. But when you implement the right changes and you become the solution to your problems, it’s a powerful feeling that sets you up to be even better next time around.
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‘There’s no more powerful lesson than knowing your setbacks will one day help you succeed’
Reshma Saujani
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