Hi everyone. Hope you’re all having a great Friday, ready for the weekend! This blog is about my secondary school experience or high school, whatever you refer to it as. This was requested by Joshua Dowen, so thanks for the idea Joshua.
So where do I begin… When I first saw the request I panicked, I didn’t think I’d be able to write enough on this topic. My memory can be pretty bad but I don’t know whether its just stuff I’ve tried to block out. Secondary school was never my favourite, I always saw it as a chore. There were certain aspects I really enjoyed and others I hated. At the beginning it was great, I had a lot of friends from my primary school attend the same school, so that was re assuring. I always think back to how carefree I was at that age. I still didn’t have anything that really troubled me. But as the years went on a few things started to develop.
Firstly it was my insecurities with my weight. I was overweight for my age but it’s strange how it went from not bothering me at all, to suddenly being all that I thought about. I realised it when we used to do P.E I mean I loved rounders, badminton and swimming. But the big issue for me was athletics, more specifically running. I hated running, the weight didn’t help obviously. I wasn’t good at it and I was always last over the finish line, like way wayyyy behind everyone else. It was so embarrassing. I’m sure sometimes I used to pretend I didn’t have my kit with me so I didn’t have to join in, but then we were given the lost and found box and had to wear clothes from there. Yuck! Serves me right really. But now I’ve found a different way to enjoy exercise and it was just a process of elimination. I don’t think I’ll ever be that person who just goes for a run because they want to (you guys are crazy to me) but I’ve found what I love and that’s weightlifting.
I had a good set of friends in school, I always had people to go to which I was very lucky to have. But I did still feel as if I didn’t fit in. I did a lot of going from group to group, floating about seeing where I could fit in. Don’t get me wrong I had amazing friends but I don’t know, I just never felt right. I find that a lot now as well. I do struggle to fit in with people so maybe I’m just the strange one. But now I’ve learnt to be okay with that.
I wasn’t the brightest but I did okay. I could have helped myself more though, but I chose not to. As soon as school finished I just wanted to get home, and go out to play or just play video games. But now I look back I wish I just tried harder in school. I always say if there’s one thing I could do, it would be to redo school again knowing what I know now. I don’t think it would have changed my career path but it’s just something I regret not doing. I never knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. (I still don’t!) I would go through lists of so many jobs and I just couldn’t see myself doing any of them, it was hard because as more decisions were coming up like choosing my A-levels. I was lost. Whereas all my friends kind of knew what they wanted to do. So I decided to go towards the one thing I found some joy in. Being creative.
I loved music, playing instruments was always fun for me. I already played the recorder and the flute in primary school, and took this with me to secondary school. I think I actually got up to grade 5 or 6 in the flute. But the teacher at the time wanted me to do lunch time lessons, I just thought psshhtt no way am I doing that. So I stopped going and she took the flute off me! Even though it was the schools property I still found it quite harsh. But I wish I just sucked it up and did it. Could have been in a top orchestra by now or I could have been the next Lizzo! (if you don’t know who it it search, lizzo flute into YouTube, you’ll see what I mean…)
I always enjoyed performing arts, acting on stage. I did it from a young age so I just thought anything related to that I would probably enjoy. So when it came to A-Levels I chose to do a BTEC Diploma in creative media. Which was a bit strange as we had to come to Colton Hills get a minibus to another school and do all the lessons there. I felt so out of place there wearing a different uniform. But others on my course were in the same shoes as me and that’s when I continued to make amazing friends. I had a lot of fun on that course. It set me up to carry on with performing arts in college. I did stop acting after college because I realised that it wasn’t the career path I thought it was and I move onto my next adventure.
I know this has been a really random piecing together of words. But this is just what memories I have on school. I’d say school has impacted me most by teaching me how to be independent, knowing that I wouldn’t always fit in with every kind of group and being okay with that. It was challenging and there are a lot of things I wish I could do over but I’m sure that’s the same for a lot of people. It has made me a stronger person today and that’s what I’m grateful for.
So if there is any younger readers out there, or anyone struggling. Give it your all, push through, I know it may seem tough now but when you put all your effort in and push through and complete it. You’ll thank yourself.
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‘In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.’Tom Bodett